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Yes! What I'm leaning towards after chatting with him tonight (and after catching up on the posts that happened while I Single women searching online dating older women dating younger men was out) is that both men and women probably have to deal with the same amount of crap. No scratch that that's what I already believed. But what I am thinking right now is perhaps that we are each doomed to the situation through our own lens of experience, so women are always going to think women have it rougher, and men are always going to think that men have it rougher because we each the shit we put up with, but not the shit the other one has to deal with. So I suspect he is caught in this same trap of seeing his own crap, but having a harder time recognizing the crap from the other side. Likewise, I think that having to deal with getting ed "fag" a lot as a kid growing up made him sensitive to the power the word has, but not as much as someone for whom it truly applied. Even though he dealt with it, it's a lot easier for him to brush it off because it wasn't actually about him, and he probably never had to deal with actual fear of bashing, etc. that real folks had/have to deal with. So I think he has an appreciation of its force, but he can't quite recognize the full depth of it. All in all, I'd fall about halfway in between him and his friend (who in the artist's statement says we can never pull words back from the abyss and shouldn't even try). I would tentatively say that it is actually possible, but I wouldn't throw myself behind the proposition quite as heartily as would. 
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My god this is exactly what my mother did. Had a ton of baggage (-, anxiety, depression, OCD, bipolar and a couple habits). Roped herself a White Knight Nice Guy that accepted all her baggage and supported her and us even though she was a constant shrieking ball of crazy. He had his own issues, obviously, but he was a very kind fellow. What does she do? She "just had to follow her heart" and get in contact with some guy she had a crush on in high school. A guy who was already married with his own and didn't give a shit about my mom but wasn't gonna turn down a free Poke In The Crazy. Her boyfriend found out and she played up the "The heart wants what the heart wants" this and "You can't control my soul" that. He actually forgave her. Seriously. Then she did it again. And again. She and the crush "broke up" when she was shocked, SHOCKED I TELL YOU to discover that he was still having sex with his wife. Oh, how DARE he? So back to the White Knight boyfriend a couple STDs richer and a wee bit crazier. This whole cycle repeated itself about times in an year span. The second time was great, because the wife of the crush came to our house and had a proper knock-out-drag-out-hair-pullin'-cops-in'-catfight with mom. Her were there too. So, I guess my point, Lost_In_love , is that if you value the mental health of your you'll stop all this drama llama bullshit and try to be a god damned mother instead of chasing some half baked crush from twenty years ago and focus on raising your to be less crazy than you are. Lonely older woman looking real sex cheating girlfriend
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